Art Willans, Ph.D.
Adoption: Prevention and Repair When parents bring a child into the world, it is the most joyous day of their life. The joy will probably never be equaled unless they have another child. For adoptive parents, the day of the final adoption is an extraordinary day filled with love, hope, and pride. The child, too, will be happy, scared, and full of hope. Because of the way “the day” has been anticipated, the child may think or hope that all the pain he or she has experienced will be washed away. Unfortunately, the pain they have experienced cannot be washed away. The child may have been abandoned, taken from his or her parents, moved from foster home to foster home, given back to the natural parents and taken away again. The pain is real and deep. Their trust in adults has been shattered. The key attributes, which makes long term human happiness possible, have suffered considerable damage. The damage cannot be repaired in one glorious day. While love and hope are essential elements of the repair, they are not the only elements necessary for the child to grow into a functional and constructive member of society. A leg that has been badly broken must be repaired before it heals. Otherwise, the person will be crippled for life. Unfortunately, it is not as obvious what must be done to repair the damage to a child rejected and moved through the protective service system. Many adoptive parents have already been effective in raising their own children. Therefore they are confident in their abilities to parent a child they love dearly. Many such parents are reluctant to believe that it could be much different for a child who looks and most of the time acts perfectly normal. It is typical in this culture to assume the child only needs love, structure, consistency, and occasional consequences when they mess up. The child needs all of those things and more. There is every reason to believe that parents can have the wonderful child they dreamed of. The psychological pain that sometimes overwhelms the child can be greatly reduced. Therapists at A Child’s World can help in the process of parenting an adopted child. Contact us and decide if you want us to become your partner in preventing, treating, and correcting the emotional and behavior issues that will emerge, if they have not already. |
Art Willans, Ph.D.Dr. Art has a PhD in Developmental and Child Psychology from the University of Kansas. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, Society for Research in Child Development, Council for Exceptional Children, and National Association for the Education of Young Children. He has also been selected as a member of Madison's Who's Who. In recent years Dr. Art has spent his time developing treatment programs for traumatized children.
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